Okay,
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lady_moriel told me to babble on about Plot or Lack Thereof in case it helps, so if you are sick of hearing about The Novel, she is to blame. Er. Yes.
Entirely. Also, have been fairly absent of late partly because of NaNo making me go mad, and partly because, on rare occasions, something resembling a social life whisks me away, and it is very exciting. (Case in point: Friday evening was spent at the coffee shop with
burningstarsxe and
goddessreason discussing life, philosophy, love, and Lord Byron teaching a very naive Keats about Girls. And also partaking of some very exquisite millkshakes. Quoth Sarah: "This is so good, it makes me want to write
poetry.")
Anyway. While it is somewhat stunning to me that I now have approximately a hundred and twenty pages of in-order Novel (
in order!), I have once again reached the place where I haven't the least idea what I am doing. Last year, I reached this place considerably later in the NaNo season, so I was able to faff around desperately for a while before it finally degenerated into a lot of sketches and flashbacks and scholarly discussions of magic with deliberately wordy titles. (For those that did not know: yes, I am totally cheating this year and writing the same story I did last NaNo, continuing where I'd left off on the re-write. Which means, uh, I am actually writing some of the same
events that I wrote last year. But I am
not looking at last year's document, or copying and pasting things, partly because that would defeat my own goal of trying to thrash things out appropriately, and partly because I can only read very small excerpts from that document without going into convulsions of embarrassment.)
And I'm terribly frustrated, because nothing is coming out right, and I despair of ever writing a
good novel. When necessary facts enter the picture, everything goes to pieces, and a lot of my character interactions are veering unpleasantly towards the overwrought. Bad Television Territory, one might say.
No subtlety. Mood whiplash. And then things that
ought to be important having no emotional register at all. And I feel that I'm doing Mr Caruthers all wrong most of the time -- both the lack of appropriate foreshadowing for his Sordid Past (I'd like the chapters before the reveal to make him a person of some interest -- why is he doing this? What don't we know here? -- but also hide enough so that his sudden badassery is a little startling, if sense-making when you think about it. This has not gone so well.), and how it's all handled after the reveal, which is just... bad. Argh. I am trying to convince myself that the purpose of NaNoWriMo is to get all of these events down in something resembling an order so that I have a frame to work from -- I mean, my first two re-written chapters, which are posted (friends' only) on
balladrie, are
infinitely better than the originals (even discounting the fact that somewhere in the middle of Original Chapter Two I switched from first person to third).
And now look, this post is too long and I haven't thrashed out any plot yet. Grr argh. Well, thus far, Evy has recovered (mostly) from post-traumatic stress, been recruited by the government so that they can find out how she might be useful to them, because they are more desperate than they are letting on (also, they might have an ulterior motive, as Kyra suggested -- maybe they Know Things about Evy that she doesn't know herself, and were only waiting for some sort of sign that they were right... except if they have an ulterior motive, they are also keeping their secrets
from me), discovered that Mr Caruthers is working for the government, felt incredibly betrayed, pretty much informed that yes, she is going to submit to "training" (whatever that means), and now her life belongs to England, because of... some vampirey threat. Which I am somewhat unclear on. Also there are other people being recruited by the government. Um. Somewhere. Because it would be sort of stupid if they latched onto this one twenty-two-year-old assistant librarian because ONLY YOU CAN SAVE ENGLAND FROM THE VAMPIRES, MISS NOX. BECAUSE YOU DID THAT... ONE THING. THAT, UH, ONE TIME. WHEN YOUR LIFE WAS IN DANGER. I just don't, um, know who any of those people are. Because I don't know what the vampires are doing that is so threatening. Besides the fact that it really
ought to have to do with Germany and political events that will eventually explode into the First World War. And must also be able to be at least partially resolved by Tam-Linning Mr Caruthers away from the vampire Faerie Queen (uh, not in so many words). Which means I almost have two unrelated stories going on?
Ow.
Well, okay. Seeing as there will be a sequel (AAAARGH), and said sequel (...aaaaargh) is All About The Great War, I suppose they could always fail in their primary objective, or only partially succeed, or... it depends on what the actual threat is, and how obvious it is that the German Empire is heavily involved, and what exactly the German Empire wants, and what the vampires want, and... ow politics ow. This is the part where my apparent inability to absorb vast quantities of historical information really gets in my way. Trying to read as much as I can about the tensions between the British Empire and Germany before the War -- Robert Massie's
Dreadnought, for one thing, but it is huge, and the library always wants it back -- but it's not turning itself into Things I Can Easily Navigate. Or... navigate at all. Maybe I am just thick-headed and cannot write historical fiction like normal people. *cries*
But, yes, there could be Large Problem and More Immediate Problem, and More Immediate Problem could be largely resolved by the Tam-Lin climax. Perhaps it's Reynardine, young Rue Caruthers' one-time sort-of-lover, also Faerie Queen stand-in, who's the major issue -- stirring up trouble, both in human and vampire politics. Maybe she's become
too human? -- and wants more "human" things like more human sorts of power and influence? Which a lot of the vampires would not like at all, because that is very much not in their culture? and they are largely happy with their under-London civilisation? But even in
Tam-Lin, Janet saving Tam-Lin from the Faerie Queen's thrall didn't harm the Queen. Unless Mr Caruthers is part of/key to her plan? (This would make him angst. I would possibly enjoy that too much.) She has to pay some sort of tithe (to actual Hell? ...uh, melodramatic cliché much?) using Mr Caruthers in order to make... stuff work? And the vampires are all stirred up and fighting amongst themselves and in general their culture is fracturing about all of this, which is where Evy's vampire comes in?
I think I need to go to the coffee shop. Perhaps their semi-miraculous milkshakes will write my story for me. (Also need to drop off job application, and ask about performing. Money: I need it.)
frustrated
embarrassed
busy
dorky
shocked